Does he pass the "So What" test?

Photo: Loree McDonald

"He's wonderful... Smart, attractive, sweet, and totally into me."

"So what?"

Ladies, let's be real. Your friends are pretty much the people you go to when you need advice or help validating a relationship you are involved in. But how does that fit in with your actual needs?

Friends are said to hold the best interest for you, but where does selfish interest come in?

Dr. Patrick Ellis, Norman Psychologist, believes that intuitively you should always trust yourself. Your friends may know what's best for themselves, or even be familiar with your patterns of behavior, but, "no one knows you, like you."

Some would disagree with this sentiment. Meghan Bragers, Social Work sophomore at the University of Oklahoma, says that sometimes your friends can see the details that you have missed. "Love is Blind sometimes," says Bragers.

But where does this fit in with your relationships?

Here are some tips to help you decide when it's most appropriate to take your friend's advice:

1) At the beginning of a relationship, listen to the rumors - usually they care true.

2) Forgive his past, but never forget it. Some boys can really put on a show and lead you to believe they have changed, but let's be real - people sometimes never change.

3) When your intimacy becomes a personal detail, your friends might not understand the entirety of the story. Just remember, you are you and you can feel your heart.

Photo By: Loree McDonald

I Buy My Own Diamonds and I Buy My Own Rings

Wishing for Prince Charming - Photo By: Loree McDonald

Where does independence lay in our society? Society would like to believe that in the United States, men and women have equal opportunities in all aspects of life. But in our daily lives we see the lives of women being directed to either career-obsessed bitch or motherly homemaker. Women still have remaining stereotypes of being baby-makers and stay-at-home-moms. But is this fair?

Dr. Katie Barwick-Snell, Human Relations director for the Department of Women's Studies at the University of Oklahoma says that some of the main challenges independent working women face are, "Sexism and Racism and having narrow minded people make policy and women not being equal..." She continues to explain that her husband and her always faced a difference in pay, even when they worked at equal positions.

As a mother with children Barwick-Snell felt "undervalued" and wanted to get back out in the work force and make money again. She explains that these feelings were unintentional, but regardless the idea bothered her somewhat. Also she recalls once when she was working in a business office, a male employee would brush up against her awkwardly, and she regrets never speaking up against this.

The roles women in relationships face is interesting. There is so much pressure from society to have women in very "mommy" roles and are not given a choice to be the professional in the family. There is no real explanation for this other than traditional roles following through into our contemporary society. But as a woman who aims to be the professional working figure in my household, I feel that the roles should be open for either member of the household to take on.

You're more likely to end up on the ground than the roof.

Photo by: Loree McDonald

College life is all about the late-nights. There are the late-night parties, the late-night study sessions, and of course the late-night phone calls home when you're at a party that gets busted by the police. But what about those late-nights when you become so intoxicated you can't remember them? Or the late nights you don't remember at all, even when you only had two drinks.

Those are the nights all college students should be afraid to experience. One of the scariest experiences that can happen in college is when a girl goes to a party, wakes up in a strange place, and has no recollection of the previous night's events. Disoriented, sore, and nauseous the unsuspecting girl will go home and take a shower, destroying any evidence of rape or sexual abuse from the night before. This sequence of events can happen quite often, and without the precautionary steps for prevention, someone close to you could experience this very same situation.

In a study published by the OUDaily in September, it was reported that: "90 percent of all campus rapes, including acquaintance rape, are alcohol-related." This is a shocking figure and should not be taken lightly by any young students on college-campuses. An OU junior, who asked to remain anonymous, shared her story about her not-too-distant brush with this same issue. On a normal college weekend, this student went out to a fraternity house with some friends. She ended up having a little too much to drink, and was persuaded by one of her friends, who was a member in the fraternity, to come upstairs to his room. Once upstairs he completely took advantage of her and she was unable to stop him. After he had "finished" he left her crying on the floor and she was left to collect herself and walk home alone. She unfortunately had a class with him three days a week, and for the rest of the year she sat baring this terrible secret by herself.

This is a common occurrence among college females, and there are a few steps everyone should take when going out:

1) Never go out alone, always have a group and a ride planned.

2) Never set your drink down anywhere and if you do, get a new one.

3) It is more advisable to make your own drink, because you cannot know what has been put into a prepared drink.

4) Strangers and friends both have the ability to take advantage of you, be cautious.

5) If an occurrence of rape or abuse takes place, go to the doctor immediately to retrieve any evidence left over. If you should wish to place charges, this will come into use.

6) Don't be afraid to talk to someone about any incidence that has occurred.

Meet the Parents

Sometimes wishing for the best, isn't the best way to go about things.

Photo by Loree McDonald

Meeting the parents is an important step in any budding relationship. When one or both parties decided a relationship has become serious enough to merit a visit to the worst of all interviews, there are precautionary measures one can take to avoid any awkward hiccups. Julie Suratt, Cosmopolitan writer, says, "Avoid the urge to force a familial relationship; these people are still essentially strangers." This is very important because you cannot assume you will be immediately accepted into the family. 

One of the most important things about meeting your significant other's parents is finding common ground with them. For some couples this can be a difficult challenge because of diverse backgrounds. Not to worry though, there is always a middle ground between your beloved and their cherished offspring. Try to relate with the parents on something you might know something about, such as cooking or sports. Learn their background and where they come from, this will help you to understand what kind of people they are.

Remember that for city steppers and country folk, we all share a common interest: politeness. When first meeting the parents a firm handshake is required, and if there is a hug offered, you should reciprocate politely. It's important to leave the parents feeling as if their child is with someone who brings out only the best attributes. Just remember little things, like offering to clear the table, help cook the meal, asking about any pets, and only flattery towards your sweetheart is acceptable.

Another thing people from all walks of life can appreciate is humor. You should never be the first to make a joke about something, but if you can muster up the wit, it's definitely worth a shot to add humor onto your resume of traits they will soon admire. Suratt also adds that it's important to know you are genuinely caring about their son, "Hold his hand, kiss his cheek, or share a story about how he made you laugh. Once they know your feelings are authentic, they’ll begin to trust you."

Also, if you make your beloved happy, then the parental instincts can't help but to love you. It's very hard for mothers and fathers alike to let someone else potentially be responsible for their child's happiness, but once they realize how wonderful of a couple you are, there won't be need for fear or discomfort.